Corporate Name Dropping Champions

Now that Christmas is past, the New Year hasAvenue executive wet his pants with excitement.
begun and college football is over, it can onlyIn fact, I'd go so far as to say the only way they
mean one thing- the Daytona 500 and a newcould go beyond where they are now would be
season of NASCAR racing is right around theto hire Billy Mays as a driver. These folks will, no
corner. I love the smell of the exhaust, thedoubt, plug sponsors and the list of sponsors
thunder of the engines, the bits of rubber flyinggrows ever lengthy. If you've never paid any
off the track, the corporate sponsorships. Uh,attention to it, then make a conscious effort to
come again? That's right, corporate sponsorships.listen to any given driver interview during any
As much as I love racing, the blatant andgiven race and enjoy the show.
downright shameless plugging of sponsors is so"First of all I'd like to thank God and all my
prevalent that it has become its own form ofsponsors for giving me a fast race car today.
entertainment. I mean, they make fun ofThe GMC Auto manufacturers, Mopar,
themselves, for crying out loud, so you know itQuakerstate, Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Cookies
has to be bad.Chevrolet was just awesome. I think a Loctite
I know that the corporate buck makes the worldlugnut must have come off, causing us to lose a
go around and there is no dodging it, so I don'tGoodyear Eagle tire. That sent us spinning like
even try to fight it anymore. I was contemplatingHamilton Beach blender into the Quickcrete Fast
during this years college football bowl season howDrying concrete retaining wall. Thank goodness for
you used to be able to tell something about theNASCARs dedication to safety and for the
region where a bowl game was held merely by itsinstallation of those Dow Chemical Styrofoam and
name. The Sugar Bowl, Cotton Bowl, OrangeU.S Steel, Charmin soft walls. I pinched a hole in
Bowl, Peach Bowl, and even the Mobile, Alabamamy Fruit of the Loom shorts and nearly stained
bowl all conjure up some image. Some are maybemy Simpson driver suit. I'd have dumped a gallon
not so grand images, but images nonetheless.of sweat in the process if it weren't for this Right
Now you can't tell squat except for whoseGuard antiperspirant. In fact, I'm still hotter than
product is being marketed. It's not only college ballTexas Pete hot sauce and my mouth's as dry as
games, though. Stadiums far and wide, for teamsJohnson and Johnson Baby Powder so excuse me
professional and non-professional sport a name,while I take a sip of this Gatorade G2. There,
product and/ or service which is representative ofthat's better. Other than that it was a good day
the ones who coughed up enough denarii in orderfor us at the Lowes Motor Speedway, but we'll
to obtain the opportunity to have their namebe back next week at the Atlanta Coca-Cola
flouted to all who dare look upon it. I know this toSpeedway for sure. What was the question
be true and I accept it as being how it is.again?"
Let me just tell you, though, that the folks inAwesome. Last year there were a series of
NASCAR have taken it to a whole new level.commercials about using one of the driver's
There isn't a sport out there that can come closearmpits as advertising space. It was sponsored by
to touching them in the world of hawkingOld Spice, of course. I can't wait to see where
products. During a ball game you may see athat goes this year. Let's all hope, however, that
sponsor's logo superimposed on the field orthe folks from Preparation-H don't take the idea
something innocuous like that. For each NASCARand run with it. Ooh, baby, that could be a
race, though, there are 43 teams each of whichdisaster.
has a list of sponsors that would make a Madison