| In the last week, I have been working on | | | | disappointed mom." Then you listen and more |
| compassion for myself but not in my present-day | | | | listening. I asked him what he really needed. Of |
| adult life but in the life of my inner-child. I called a | | | | course, a big hug! I could see he was calming |
| healer/medical intuitive friend about some physical | | | | down a bit just by having his feelings |
| discomfort I was having. She picked up an incident | | | | acknowledged. |
| that happened in my childhood that I was | | | | I went on a hike and I keep him close to me, |
| completely unaware of. A note on that dynamic: | | | | pointing out cool things I noticed and just being in |
| Sometimes in a session with clients I will | | | | my child-like spirit. "Wow, look it how big that |
| clairvoyantly receive information about their | | | | butterfly is! Did you see that?" He nods! I can |
| childhood that seems completely off the mark to | | | | seem him shifting his mood but I also sense it's |
| the client. I always encourage them to be in a | | | | going to take time so I don't try to rush him. |
| place of inquiry about this information and not | | | | When I feel his mood has returned to that natural |
| discount it. There is enough documentation in the | | | | little boy happiness, I tell him, "I know you tried |
| traditional mental health community to confirm | | | | very hard to do what mom said. I think if you |
| that we forget quite a bit of what happened in | | | | don't try so hard it will happen. you know, |
| our childhood. | | | | everyone has difficulty with it." He says, "Really?" |
| So, I took this information my friend gave me | | | | "Yup, and I think Mom is doing her best but |
| and began to explore. What she told me is of | | | | innocently put a little too much pressure on us |
| highly personal nature so please forgive me for | | | | and that we need to forgive her." He asks me a |
| not speaking about it specifically. First, I made | | | | few questions and I listened very hard and |
| contact with that little 3-year-old boy inside me | | | | answered them. |
| and was shocked to see he was very upset | | | | I kept him close to me that day and the next |
| (sobbing). I asked him what was wrong. He said | | | | (which is today) in fact he sitting right here with |
| that he tried to do what his mom (my mom) said | | | | me watching me write this! I think, like me, he |
| but he couldn't! I could see he was punishing | | | | wants the little boys and girls inside us to be at |
| himself. It doesn't feel good when you see | | | | peace, to know they are loved, to know they |
| yourself when you were three and you are | | | | have done nothing wrong. I turn to him now and |
| beating up on yourself. Then it becomes a | | | | ask him, "Is that right?" He nods his head |
| parenting process but a different kind of parenting | | | | adamantly, his eyes hopeful. I keep telling him that |
| that I think most of has experienced. | | | | I love him and that whatever he needs to always |
| First I mirrored his feelings and tried not to tell | | | | tell me, that I will always be here for him "I go, |
| him, "It's okay, it's okay". Instead I said, "You | | | | you go. You go, I go." This is big wound in him and |
| really feel bad about not being able to do what | | | | it's going to take time to heal. Patience and more |
| mom said-is that right?" Then validate: "I could | | | | patience and to keep checking in with him are the |
| understand you feeling bad about that". Then | | | | keys. |
| empathize: "It must be really hard to feel like you | | | | |