| A bright yellow indemnity form is pushed towards | | | | moist inside from the sweaty brows of our other |
| me, pen resting on top of it. The content is brief, | | | | drivers) and strap it on before folding myself into |
| a sole paragraph outlining the fact that there’s | | | | the exceptionally low Lotus with more dignity than |
| a reasonable chance I could be about to die and | | | | I was expecting. The first job is to try to get my |
| it’ll be nobody’s fault except my own. | | | | limbs into a proper racing position. |
| It’s the kind of paragraph that should stop | | | | “Your left leg should reach the clutch without |
| me in my tracks. A paragraph to fire up the | | | | locking up at the knee when you push the clutch |
| alarm bells. Do I really want to risk my life? But | | | | in,” says Denis, pointing at my feet. “Then |
| instead my eyes flash over the contents, ignoring | | | | your wrist should be able to touch the steering |
| words like ‘crash’ and ‘maim’, | | | | wheel at 12 o’clock without your shoulder |
| before settling on something far more interesting | | | | blade touching the back of the seat.” |
| – the large logo at the top. A logo that says, | | | | A couple of small adjustments and I’m ready |
| simply, Lotus. I sign. And then I smile like a | | | | to go. A member of the Lotus crew gives me |
| schoolboy. | | | | the signal to get moving and I smile back blankly. |
| Since the 1950s Lotus has been one of the | | | | He signals again, with a bit more vigour and I keep |
| world’s great sports car manufacturers, | | | | smiling – motionless. It seems that in this |
| winning seven Formula One championships and | | | | moment of pressure, this moment where I’m |
| creating classic two seaters such as the Elan, the | | | | intending to go out on track and set a lap time |
| Esprit and the car I’ve just signed up to drive | | | | that will leave others gasping, I may have |
| around Sepang International Circuit: The Lotus | | | | inadvertently forgotten which pedal provides the |
| Elise. | | | | gas. |
| Clearly, death or not, today is going to be a good | | | | Denis politely talks to me like I’m having my |
| day. “The plan for this Lotus ride and drive | | | | first driving lesson. “Okaaaaay, just, erm, give |
| experience,” event organiser Edward Tan Yu | | | | the pedal on the right a little push”. I do my |
| Tho tells our assorted gang, “is for you to be | | | | best at a nonchalant laugh, as if I knew all along, |
| able to see what it’s like to be on a circuit at | | | | and we’re away. |
| speed, to feel the way the car handles around | | | | I’d love to say that after that early upset I |
| corners, and probably to scare yourselves a little | | | | didn’t look back, but I was awful. Everything |
| when you get to have a go. It’ll be fun.” | | | | just seems to happen so fast when you’re |
| For RM1,500 a head, the experience delivers | | | | on a circuit. As we hurtle towards corners I hit |
| exactly what Edward promises. First there will be | | | | the brakes as I should, but I concentrate so hard |
| three laps with a professional driver, followed by | | | | on that I entirely forget to change gear, leaving |
| three laps with a rubbish driver. Or to put it | | | | us cruising round the bend as if we’ve |
| another way, three laps with us happy amateurs | | | | popped out to pick up some groceries. |
| at the wheel. | | | | Then the final indignity occurs. As we head into a |
| A man who the track better than most is | | | | slow corner I spin – a full 360, leaving me |
| professional racing driver Denis Lian. Considered to | | | | looking back up the track. “Don’t |
| be the fastest driver in Singapore (he even | | | | panic,” says Denis telling me to hold tight until |
| represented the country in the international A1 | | | | the startled car behind passes us. “It was a |
| Grand Prix series) he’s also the chap | | | | slow corner so I let you lose it, just for fun.” |
| who’s going to show us how it’s done | | | | It wasn’t supposed to be like this, but I just |
| before we take to the wheel ourselves. | | | | can’t get the basics right under pressure. |
| “I think it’s a great circuit,” the | | | | Denis maintains an upbeat and positive tone. It |
| 36-year-old says with a grin. “It was the | | | | would be so easy for him to show off or to say |
| world’s first super-circuit and it has a great | | | | something snide about my abilities, but he |
| blend between technical corners and more flowing | | | | doesn’t. He keeps smiling and offering friendly |
| sections. I definitely prefer it to circuits like | | | | tips right around the circuit. He obviously loves |
| Shanghai and Dubai.” | | | | motorsport and I think he just wants me to |
| He’s not wrong. The 5.54km course is | | | | come away having loved the day too. |
| considered exemplary by most top-level drivers, | | | | In that regard he succeeds utterly. I may have |
| even if the heat of the Sepang area – which | | | | been a bit humbled by how inept I was, but hand |
| is located about 50 minutes away from the | | | | me another yellow indemnity form and I’d |
| centre of KL, almost next door to the | | | | sign up to do it again in a shot. Although I’d |
| international airport – can make for almost | | | | maybe try and keep the car facing in the right |
| unbearable conditions inside the car. | | | | direction in future. |
| I grab the communal helmet (now unglamorously | | | | |